You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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