my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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