Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize