So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
