HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
People in love make me want to vomit
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
