Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Randomize
