woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The best revenge is premature balding
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
