I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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