whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
