porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
