Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize