bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
