Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
