So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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