I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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