I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
