Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
