so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
