Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
