Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
