i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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