We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
