Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
