It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
