can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
