is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
