So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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