There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
