Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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