i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
