Small penises have feelings too.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
