Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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