you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
