8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
