Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
