Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have aggressive nipples.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
