I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
