If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
