I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize