You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
