Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
