good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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