Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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