If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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