wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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