There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
