I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
