Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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