my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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