I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
