Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
