I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
