I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
