I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
