do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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