i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
