we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
