i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
