My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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