haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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