i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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