There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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