Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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