I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
