My hand turned me down
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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