It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I supernannyed him into submission
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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