it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
