I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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