That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
