dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
