Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
