I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
