Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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