It's Friday. Sex?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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