I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
