i would punch a child for taco bell
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
