She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
