Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Randomize
